Have you ever wanted to move to a new stage of life, a new career, get into shape, lose a few pounds, have a better relationship with a friend, spouse, or loved one? What is holding you back? I believe our greatest enemy is: Inertia!
This inertia comes in many forms: the status quo, almost good enough, I will wait till the perfect timing, I am not smart enough, I am not talented enough, if only. These are all excuses and lies that we all believe and tell ourselves daily. What if we could overcome this inertia and move forward with our decisions with one simple new one-/hour monthly thing we do? Sounds too good to be true?
It could be, but I have found that having an Executive Coach has been a key to overcoming this problem in my life. Here are some examples of how my coach has helped me in practical ways.
In many decisions I let fear keep me from moving. An acronym for fear that I like is FEAR:
False, Evidence, Appearing, Real.
When I become anxious or fearful, my mind starts to race 100 miles an hour, and I struggle to shut it off. It runs towards the cliffs that are imaginary in my mind! At least 90 percent of the fears that I have never come to pass. So most of that emotional energy is wasted on nothing! Fear also kills my desire for fulfillment. We have a bias that causes us to fear loss, more than we want fulfillment. If I focus on fear, I will not reach fulfillment in my life. My coach has helped me by allowing me to voice these fears, hit them head-on, and replace my fears with my long term desires. My goals become my compass and true north for my brain’s activities, allowing my mind a positive fuel to move me forward, rather than the negative fears that keep me afraid and overwhelmed by the negative outcome possibilities.
Another truth I have come to realize is that living reactively does not meet our deepest needs. As we go about our daily lives, we rush from one thing to another and look back after yet another week and think, “Have I really accomplished anything this week?!” This can lead to a deep-seated dissonance between what I am doing, what I value, and what I want out of life long term. As I process these feelings with my coach, simple questions, without judgment, have been very helpful.
Ask Good Questions
Questions like: What makes this worth pursuing? What is causing you to feel stuck? How does this align with who you are, and who you want to be? If you look back in 20 years, what advice would you give yourself? Who are you becoming through this decision? These questions help me to process why I feel this dissonance and how to say “No” to the urgent activities that pop up every day.” This allows me margin to say “Yes” to what I value most, health, fitness, relationships, and other deep-seated life bringing values.
Sometimes I get stuck because I have only one frame of reference. I try to make a decision through one frame of reference or decision-making strategy. Since I can not find a path using this strategy, I stay immobilized by it. Having another person asking me questions from another strategy has been of great value to me as well.
1. Rationale: “What are the pros and cons of pursuing each option?”
2. Relational: “How will this course of action affect those around me? Family, Co-workers, friends?
3. Alignment: “How well does this decision align with my passions, values, calling?
4. Spiritual: “What decision would best align with my faith? What is God saying to me on this?
5. Cost: “What would it cost you in terms of time and resources to do this? What would it cost me if I do NOT do this? What cost is there to me if I do nothing and make no choice?
6. Risk/Reward: “What is the payoff for each opportunity? What is the opportunity cost of each? What is the risk? What steps could minimize the risk involved?
Bill Mason As an Executive Coach, I help others to become Great at Their Strengths, Meet their Goals, and Become the Best Version of themselves! actions, hiring a coach that you can trust and act as a sounding board is one of the greatest investments in your life you can make! Hire a coach today!
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If you would like to try coaching, contact me and mention this article to receive one free 30 minute coaching session. Email firstname.lastname@example.org, cell 850-855-3430,
If you would like to try coaching, contact me, and mention this article to receive one free 30-minute coaching session. Email email@example.com, cell 850-855-3430,,g Lives by Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl, and Laura Whitworth.
Portions of this article are from: Coaching Questions: A Coaches Guide to Powerful Asking Skills by Tony Stoltzfus, and Co-active Coaching: Changing Business Transforming Lives by Henry Kimsey-House, Karen Kimsey-House, Phillip Sandahl and Laura Whitworth.